If you are considering couples counselling in Surrey, Langley, or anywhere in BC, you are not alone. Most couples reach out when communication feels stuck, trust is shaken, or stress has crept between you. Counselling
gives you structure, tools, and a skilled guide so you can understand each other again and repair what matters. This overview explains how sessions work at Sojourn Counselling and Neurofeedback, what to expect in
your first appointment, how effective couples therapy can be, and how to prepare together.
What happens in couples counselling
Your first session sets the foundation. A Sojourn couples counsellor will welcome you both, review confidentiality and consent, and outline how sessions work. You will each share a brief history of the relationship and
name what brings you in. The therapist will listen for patterns that trigger disconnection, such as pursuing and distancing, defensiveness, or shutdowns. You will leave with a plan for the next steps.
Common goals include:
- Improving communication so both of you feel heard and fewer arguments spiral
- Rebuilding trust and safety after a rupture or betrayal
- Repairing conflict with tools that reduce blame and increase understanding
- Restoring intimacy, both emotional and physical
- Aligning on parenting, money, family stress, or major decisions
At Sojourn, sessions draw on Emotionally Focused Therapy. EFT helps you notice the feelings underneath the fight, then share them in safer ways that invite support. You can expect:
- Emotion coaching to slow heated moments and name primary emotions
- Guided repair conversations to revisit tough topics with structure and empathy
- Attachment-informed practices like A.R.E. skills, accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement
Between sessions, your therapist may suggest short practices, such as a daily check-in, a timed turn-taking conversation, or a small affectionate ritual that rebuilds connection.
Confidentiality and consent
In couples work, your therapist holds confidentiality for the relationship. You will discuss how private information is handled, including whether individual check-ins will be part of the process and how sensitive information
is shared. Transparency is important so you both feel safe. Online sessions use encrypted platforms and are delivered from private locations to protect your privacy across BC.
How effective is couples counselling
Research consistently shows that EFT helps most couples reduce distress and increase closeness. Effectiveness depends on factors such as your readiness to try new patterns, honesty about tough topics, and regular
attendance. You can expect progress to look like fewer escalations, more empathy in the moment, and faster repair after conflict. Counselling does not erase differences, it helps you navigate them together.
Can couples counselling fix a relationship
Therapy is not a quick fix or a guarantee. It raises awareness, builds skills, and supports meaningful decisions. Many couples repair after affairs or long periods of distance. Some decide to separate with more respect and
clarity. Success is best defined by the quality of your process, the honesty you bring, and whether you build a safer connection, even when you disagree. Most couples start to notice helpful shifts within 4 to 8 sessions,
with deeper change over several months.
Who couples counselling helps
Couples therapy is useful if you are:
- Premarital and want tools for communication, money, family dynamics, and sex
- High conflict and need structure to stop the cycle of criticism, stonewalling, or defensiveness
- Healing a rupture after betrayal, secrecy, or addiction recovery
- Parenting under strain and feeling like roommates
- Coping with mental health concerns or trauma that affect your bond
If trauma is part of the picture, your therapist may recommend individual work alongside couples sessions. Sojourn can integrate individual therapy or refer within the team so you get coordinated care.
In person vs online sessions
You can meet in our Surrey office or attend secure video sessions from anywhere in BC. In person can feel grounded and private if home is busy or tense. Online can be more accessible, especially for co-parents with
complex schedules or partners in different locations. Both are equally focused and structured. For online sessions, plan a private space, stable internet, and a way to limit interruptions.
Structure of the first three sessions
Session 1, joint: review consent, map the pattern, set goals, learn a first de-escalation tool
Sessions 2 and 3, individual check-ins if appropriate: brief one-on-ones to understand background, attachment history, and safety needs
Session 4 and beyond, joint: practice new conversations, strengthen safety, work through key topics, rebuild intimacy, and plan for maintenance
Your therapist will monitor progress, check in on what is working, and adjust pace as needed.
Fees, insurance, and access
Typical counselling fees in Surrey and across BC range from approximately $120 to $200 per session, depending on the clinician’s training and experience. Many extended health plans reimburse sessions provided by a
registered clinical counsellor. It is best to check your plan for details before booking. If budget is a concern, Sojourn offers low cost counselling with supervised interns who provide couples sessions at reduced rates. Michael Murie is an intern at Sojourn completing his Masters Degree in Couples Therapy.
How to prepare as a couple
Set a shared aim: pick one or two changes you both want
Choose a recent conflict to unpack, not the biggest one, a medium moment works best early on
Plan logistics: arrive on time, test your video link, and silence notifications
Agree to simple ground rules: speak to be understood, listen to understand, and pause when flooded
Expect emotions: it is normal to feel tender, your therapist will help you slow down and stay safe
Bringing a journal or notes can help you remember key moments and track progress.
What kind of therapist is best for couples
Look for training in Emotionally Focused Therapy or other evidence-based approaches for relationships, experience with your concerns, and a style that feels calm and fair to both of you. In BC, many couples work with a
registered clinical counsellor. At Sojourn, you can book with a couples counsellor who uses EFT, offers both in person and online care, and collaborates with you on clear goals.
Realistic outcomes you can expect
Clearer understanding of each other’s emotions and needs
Fewer escalations, more repair after disagreements
Renewed trust through consistent, small moments of care
Improved intimacy that grows from safety and responsiveness
Practical tools you can use at home when stress is high
Setbacks will happen. What matters is how quickly you notice the cycle, name it, and return to connection. Your therapist will help you celebrate small wins and keep momentum.
Ready to start
If you are looking for a supportive, skilled guide in Surrey, Langley, or elsewhere in BC, booking with a couples counsellor at Sojourn is a warm first step. Prefer a budget-friendly option, you can start with a low cost therapist
intern and still receive structured, supervised care. Many insurance plans reimburse sessions with a registered clinical counsellor. If you are curious about trauma processing that may support your relationship work, you
can also learn about EMDR with our team.
You deserve a relationship that feels safer, kinder, and more connected. We are here to help you get there, one conversation at a time.